So I have been down lately. I had a run of bad calls. Then I found out that a close friend of mine was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer on July 15th. He got sick, got sepsis, multiple organ failure and today his wife and family will turn off all of the machines that are keeping him alive. He just turned 48 this week. From what I know of him, he has not lived a high risk lifestyle. Not that it would matter if he did, nobody deserves this. This couple spent their entire marriage taking care of others. Foster parenting, taking care of their parents. They had just gotten to the point in life where they were going to have time for them. And this happened. It's just horribly sad.
It seems like whenever something like this happens, a person starts noticing every lump, bump and ache. Well I went to the dentist last week, and found out that I have to have a crown. I asked the dentist to look at a lump that I have noticed on my soft palate for the last few months. It's a clear little blister. I will pop it, but it always comes back. Its annoying. The dentist looked at the bump, and couldn't see much, but recommended that I see an oral surgeon for a possible biopsy. The dentist also noticed my tonsils (which have always been huge). She said that they are awful red. So I will have the oral surgeon look at my tonsils too. So now I've decided that I probably have oral cancer. Or tonsil cancer. Or head and neck cancer. I got really scared and panicked for a few days. A lot of crying. And then I did some reading. And have been back and forth for the past week. I think I'm ok now though. I know that whatever it is, I will fight it. My appointment isn't until the 25th with the oral surgeon. Thats the soonest they could get me in. And my crown will be on the 11th. Or 12th. I can't remember. I'm terrified about that too. I wish they could just knock me out.
I've been working with different people for the last few days. Thank God I'm back with my partner today. I can just relax more when I know what to expect. I have been dealing a lot with an over utilizer. Also known as a frequent flyer. This person was seen at one hospital at least 4 times yesterday. He is narc seeking. I don't know what to do about this person. I guess there really is nothing I can do. I have tried everything that I can think of to help him. I will keep brainstorming though.
My patients are on my mind a lot. I feel like there is so much more that we could be doing for them. To provide them with a more permanent solution. A lot of these people don't need the ER. They are going to the ER because they don't have the money to pay for what they need, and they know that the ER has to provide it for them. Tylenol for a fever, etc. I wish I would have kept track of how many ER scripts I have seen unfilled lying around patients's homes. Some of these people legitimately don't have the $5 to fill their prescription. But the majority of them could fill them. They just choose to spend their money on cigarettes or booze. There are many people that I wouldn't mind buying their prescriptions. But I can't do it for everybody. And I don't want people to expect this of other medics. Not everyone could afford to do this.
Things are starting to pick up, the radio is getting noisier. So I feel like I should pee. I will be back later! Hope everyone is having a great and safe weekend!
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