Bullshittery

The last few days at work have been typical I guess. Except I got madder than I think I've ever been.  I love working with different medics, seeing different ways of doing things. But...things don't run normally and I got called out for it publicly.  One of my bosses got super mad at us. Just reinforces the leadership qualities that I admire in my other bosses.  Working with other medics makes me think that maybe I have an anger problem. My regular partner is super patient. I have never seen him get angry. There was one patient in particular that I got super angry with during one of my last shifts.  He was intoxicated, broke several major laws and did some things that hurt and could potentially hurt a lot of people. I was ready to do what was best for the taxpayers, public and us. My partner of the day was a true advocate for him. Kept her cool, was super kind to him, and took enough time with him that we got into trouble with the brass.  It didn't bother her. She was ultimately looking out for his best interests.  That is what we are trained and supposed to do.  Despite all these other challenges.  This lady isn't a brand new gung ho medic either.  She has a lot of time on our department.  She should be crusty and angry, but she's not.  She is who I want to be when I get to her age/rank.  I'm not sure it pays off career wise, but she is a very happy lady.  I hope this all doesn't come off as negativity. While I was super angry about the whole afternoon, I have to say that I won't make those same mistakes again. I will be more conscientious about the things that made my boss so mad while at the same time trying to be an advocate for the patient despite the situation surrounding things.  

I wish that I wouldn't have gotten so angry and spent so much of my time off simmering down.  It really affects me when I get that mad.  My digestive system has been all jacked up.  Horrible heartburn.  I should probably buy some stock in omeprazole and chewable antacids. It even effects my dreams.  And why wouldn't it? Last night I dreamt that I had a good friend of mine's son as a patient.  He was doing fine when I had him.  I don't remember what the chief complaint was.  When I got him to the hospital, he started going downhill and eventually died.  I remember trying to comfort my friend and being there for a very long time. I guess I turned my radio off.  I got into big trouble with my bosses when I finally realized it.  I remember going over and over in my brain what I could have possibly missed during my assessments with him.  That dream woke me up.  I also dreamt that I was running calls with someone else I work with and admire.  It was very odd.  I wouldn't normally be working one on one with this person.  I did things in this dream that I would never do in real practice.  I remember having a trauma with lots of bleeding and bandaging to do where I wasn't wearing gloves.  This person that I worked with took his gloves off and gave them to me.  When we got out to the truck with the trauma patient, the tires were all almost flat.  Idk what my subconscious brain is trying to tell me here...lol. 

I spent part of my day yesterday with my mom and kids.  It was a great day.  I love hanging out with my family.  I always feel better when I've spent time with them.  Especially my daughter.  She is such a bright soul.  She is always cheerful and exudes positivity.  Even when she's in a bad mood, she's funny.  We went to Tanya's Soup Kitchen for lunch.  I had never been there.  The owner (Tanya) was killed a few weeks ago.  It felt weird in there.  There were pictures of her sprinkled around the restaurant with cards and a book that people had written their thoughts in.  I wish I would have met her.  Just looking at all the pictures, she looked like someone who really enjoyed her life.  I loved the style of her restaurant. The food was super yummy, but I overate and paid for it all day and night.  It was so delicious.  And seemed healthy.  Lots of nutrient rich foods.  We went and walked around at the spice merchant after that.  I love the smell in there.  I love the smell of their coffee.  I was in hog heaven between the coffee and all the kitchen gadgets.  I didn't buy anything.  But I wanted to.  They have these coffee mugs that have animal heads in the bottom.  So they slowly start to emerge as you finish your drink.  My Aunt Sue had one of those that I loved as a kid.  I think it had a little frog in the bottom.  The mugs were on clearance.  But I didn't buy one.  After that we went to the new Costco store.  My daughter wanted me to go in half on a membership with her.  Idk if I will get out there that often, but I went ahead and got a membership with her.  It is a neat store.  Idk if their prices are that super on everything.  I was impressed with their yogurt prices.  And their produce looked good.  I bought a ton of fruit.  I'm anxious to try it all.   

I have tons more to say, but looking at my dirty house is making me feel guilty for sitting here writing and drinking my coffee in leisure.  I will be back to spew more bullshittery if I get time.